#HerStory | Aborting the Mission

how many people have you allowed to miss their calling because you chose to ignore that feeling that you have? That feeling that you have is your purpose and mission that God has called you to complete. And what is crazy, not really, is that your purpose is connected to someone else’s purpose! Do you hear what I just said?! When you have a purpose and calling on your life, you are also important to others in their purpose and calling in their life!!!!!!

Thank You, Next...

We’ve all been in situations that have taught us love, patience and/or pain and in the end, we grew to value and love ourselves more and appreciate the good in the experience. Whether the situation is a platonic relationship, friendship, life transition, or “failure” in business. With that in mind, I’ve taken a moment to reflect on some personal experiences based on the lyrics in the song.

Ladies, Tell Me you Can Feel Me...

There are more women than men and even if you are okay with polygamy- I personally am not but do you baby do you- everyone can't be the first wife or even the main wife, and please don't get me started on the glamorized mistresses and accepted side chicks. And for those of us who aren't down with experimenting, if you get my drift....well, honey you do the math.

We Will Win

Lately I've been trying to figure out how I'm supposed to stay encouraged with everything that is happening. I've been having more bad days than good days with Fabio while trying to get adjusted to being back to work and this crazy weather. The cold and rain is not friends with Fabio at all. On top of Fabio, life is still happening and it's been kinda heavy... I'm trying to be strong and let God continue to make something out of nothing.

In times Like These...

I’m deciding to live in the moment.  Not yesterday or yesteryear’s moment, not even tomorrow’s moment.  The whole concept of ‘being anxious for nothing’ means I don’t focus my mind or squander my peace on what negative possibility tomorrow could hold.

Open Letter to my Unborn Child

Sometimes God has a way of making things better even when it doesn’t make sense. God saved you. He knew that the world wasn’t the place for you right now. Daddy was not ready for you pumpkin and mama is so sorry for being so selfish in the beginning and choosing to entertain negativity rather than your wellbeing. So quickly you came and so quickly you left.


I tried everything. Building a team. Reciting daily affirmations. Changing my workspace. New Business Strategy. Finding my Niche. Consulted with a Coach. And still, I sucked as a business owner and my business was stagnant. Money was coming in but that wasn’t enough for me. So, I did what I neglected to do for a minute – go to the source, the CEO of the business, God.

Candidly Speaking: Your Sh*t Ain't A-1

Sometimes your shit is popping and other times its not. If you remain humble during all periods, understanding and enduring the ups and downs make you stronger and more empathetic to your friends, family and strangers. But if you’re walking around like your shit don’t stink, someone will quickly remind you that YOUR SHIT AIN’T ALWAYS BEEN A-1. 


Friends first…Lovers second, they say. We were friends. There was trust. There was love. Strut in HER Shoes… We were friends for about three years prior to entering into our relationship. So, I thought I knew him. I never thought that someone I trusted… I loved… could turn into a man I never met. The abuse was gradual and, in the beginning, seemed so minor that I ignored it. I would make excuses for the behavior.


Prior to the relationship that left me heartbroken, I always had the mentality that if I lost a parent then I could never be hurt (silly I know). I also didn’t really have high expectations for men. I had been disappointed by men in the past but it wasn’t really a huge deal. It became a huge deal when I finally decided to take someone seriously and give them my all. So when it ended, I was completely broken because I felt like I had given it all I had and was left with nothing

First Day Out

I was about a year out of my divorce, and I remember telling a friend while preparing that I needed a name. Something to go by. Jo Thurmond just didn’t fit where I felt I was headed in life. In fact, it reflects my past in more ways than one. So this wasn’t an “I need a name” in a “make me famous” kind of way but rather an “I am not what I’ve been through” kind. She told me to pray, after all, God was the first one to call me Jo, surely He’d instruct on what’s next... best advice ever! It was this day that I heard the audible voice of God. 

Young, Black & Depressed

There’s a stigma that surrounds mental health in the Black community. We rarely speak of it and when we do its often in hushed whispers. We’re told to pray or suck it up or get over it. But no one ever tells their grandma to pray away her breast caner and not go see a doctor. No one tells their granddaddy to suck up his diabetes. No one yells for their mama to get over her sickle cell. So why in the hell am I expected to magically erase my depression?

Fallen from Glory?!

I didn’t think I had fallen from glory at all. In fact, I felt like I was walking IN the glory and everyone around me couldn’t see it nor let me live. Such a selfish way of thinking and further proof that I wasn’t quite where I thought I was. And if you know me, you know I am nowhere near the 'Hillary Banks' type of girl but I digress. 

Reality 101: Let Go & Let God

I remember hating myself, and everything this man said I was or was not I started to believe. I’m not special, I’m fat, I’m crazy, I’m insecure, I need professional help, I’m not good enough; I mean I could go on and on. The point is he put that in my head and spirit so much that it started to manifest. Pain doesn’t even begin to describe how I would feel, try disgusted with my life and just over it.

7 Ways to Protect your Peace

Life has its ways of just shaking you up and it’s not always pleasant. I know that in my life, I have had my own experience with depression dating back as far as elementary school. Of course, I didn’t know it was depression back then but I know now how serious it was. However, I am grateful that I was offered different avenues to keep my mental and emotional health intact. Some of these opportunities or ideas were not intentional but they still helped. So here are my 7 ways to help protect your peace.

Welcome to my Reality...

The reality of the situation is that I tried everything, BUT GOD. The restoration and rebirth of Toya - that's what I named my journal as I started to write, dig deep, stop playing the blame game and work on my real (new) reality and my relationship with God. 

In the Mirror...

I glared into a mirror, maybe for 20min picking out all my flaws and reminding myself of things I didn’t like. I would beat myself up because I didn’t look like those girls in music videos and my hair wasn’t perfect like those girls on Instagram.

What Does Your Patience Look Like?

Patience is that one area where we can always practice and improve on. This has been a HUGE theme for me throughout the past year. I've been been tested in the areas of employment searches, friends, relationships + dating, and my own self-abilities + skills. The constant rejection, not receiving the results I wanted, and daily life revelations and own experiences and hearing other positive stories helped me come to grips with needing to improve and increase my patience.