All in BEHIND THE DIAGNOSIS
Lately I've been trying to figure out how I'm supposed to stay encouraged with everything that is happening. I've been having more bad days than good days with Fabio while trying to get adjusted to being back to work and this crazy weather. The cold and rain is not friends with Fabio at all. On top of Fabio, life is still happening and it's been kinda heavy... I'm trying to be strong and let God continue to make something out of nothing.
With some much going on in the world, how do you stay sane while dealing with your own issues? Because I'm living have fibromyalgia one of the main questions the doctors often ask is "Are you depressed"?
Mind you I still have photos I need to get done and other stuff to prepare for the launch but I can't because I'm stuck in bed. People think that because you have a desk job you should be fine... Not my case especially working 4 days straight, it's physically too much for me, Sad right? I had a decision to make, do I stay at this job that I'm never going to make it on Thursday because I'm tapped out by Wednesday or do I quit?
When you feel like you don't have a friend, God is a friend to the friendless, God is hope for the hopeless, God is faithful to the faithless. , when you think there is no way God makes a way. Just TRUST THE PROCESS!!!! You will hit roadblocks but let God be your back up, your AAA, your roadside assistance, your GPS and your roadmap to help you stay on the right path to your GREATER!
That vision was now about to become a reality, but I was just going to New York I was going during fashion week. That in itself was such a blessing and so exciting. Although I was overjoyed with excitement I was filled with uncertainty as well because we would be driving. Fabio and I don't do road trips at all! So to prepare I literally rested my body up until it was time to leave.
There has been so much going on in my life this month and planning my first quarter goals. I have my first speaking engagement this Saturday, where i will be sharing my story. Although I'm excited im extremely nervous as well because it's out of my comfort zone to be that authentic in front of a crowd especially about fibro.
I also need to thank you for breaking me down, physically, mentally and emotionally. I would not be the STRONG WARRIOR THAT I AM TODAY. Most days I don't even know where I pull the strength from to even function when I need to but I do it. I have the strength to accept that not every day will be a great one but it's still a day and that was kind of hard when we first starting dating but as time went on and our relationship progressed I learned some of your pros and cons and how to handle them.
I've never been a quitter but I won't lie Fibro is the only thing that's ever made me want to quit but then I remind myself that it's apart of my journey. I wouldn't be the woman I am today, have the strength I have, if I didn't have fibro.
I may have limitations on what I'm allowed to do but sometimes having fun and enjoying life is worth what it'll cost me; probably a hospital visit or a few days in bed.The woman that I am today is strong, mentally. It takes a lot of mind control to not let your illness break you. I won't lie it does knock me down but I never stay down.
Grieving or being sad is something I have to learn to do or not do in most cases. I've been to a stage in my health where I didn't think I would make it to this year's birthday and from then I vowed that I would never jeopardize going back down that road.
I've experienced pain in my life before but never this extreme. Some days I wake up and I can’t even move to get out of my bed. Other days I just stay in bed all day because my entire body hurts so badly and the only comfort is being balled up. Along with this comes many sleepless nights. Some weeks I don’t sleep for nights at a time because I can’t get comfortable and the touch of the sheets on my skin hurt.